Unloving, I Will Love You
by caricatureofintimacy
Summary: Edward Cullen is casted director of the local play, this puts a strain on his and Jacob's relationship, bring Bella back into the picture and that makes it tens times worse, who will Edward choose? edwardxjacob, edwardxbella
1. Chapter 1

title: _unloving, i will love you_ ll written by: _rachel e. or caricatureofintimacy_ ll rating: _nc-17_ ll warnings: _slash/yaoi/homosexuality, angst, fluff, swear words, everything under the sun_ ll pairings: _edward/jacob, edward/bella, jasper/alice, esme/carlisle, rosalie/emmett_ ll word count: _8, 247 words_

authors note: _first of all, i am not confident as i post this, i think this is one of the worst things i have ever written, but all i can do is try and if i fail then...that would be bad, but if one person enjoys this it was worth the days writing it took to make this bombshell. first of all i might write some short stories in this au because i really do love edward as a teacher and i do love the universe itself. the ending can be turned into a sequel of sorts, but we will see what happens. this is dedicated to the three girls who commented on my last fiction, i know edward/jacob is not a popular ship, and it's sad that it isn't but because they did and asked for more, i think they deserve a story like this, even if it sucks. i'm sure it doesn't but i have never been confident in my writing so why start now. unloving, i will love you is from underoath's song 'some will seek forgiveness, others escape'. which is a great song download it. thanks for reading and reply if you like. again you don't have too, it's just something nice you could do for me._

dedicated too: _princess einjeru_, _blissfulmemories_ and _edwards la tua cantante_

summary: _edward is the director of the town's local play, this puts a strain on their relationship but bella coming back into the picture makes it even worse. edward/jacob, edward/bella_

**Unloving, I Will Love You (1/1)**

**July, Australia**

It was Jacob who found the house in the country of Australia. After Bella, nothing felt right about living in America, so they moved. It's as simple as that. The house though cosy was quite large. It was situated in the middle of a one hundred acre lot, a high brick wall protected the house and on the veranda was an inviting beige loveseat. Jacob like to sit their sometimes, drinking a lukewarm cup of coffee, reading the local newspaper while running his fingers through Edward's soft hair. Edward enjoyed even more than Jacob did, he just didn't know how to express that feeling in words. Most of the time Jacob didn't need Edward to say it, but it was days like this that he wished Edward would.

For a summer day it was surprisingly chilly, even after living in Australia for over two years Jacob still was getting used to the diverse climate change, and living smack bam in the middle of the hot Australian country didn't help the change much either. The garden that was tamed, pruned and clipped by Edward was tucked neatly around their front porch, shrubs and rose bushes circled around a large apple tree which Edward pondered aloud often about how "he always wanted to have that country vibe about his home". Most of the time the sun hit perfectly in the direction of the forest green leaves, the dew from the night before glistening from the rays of the sun and making the whole setting look even more like a scene out of hallmark card. That day however was snippy, the dew frozen to the leaves, and the porch swing swaying upbeat in the hazy wind. Jacob was wrapped up in a blanket, thermist of warm cocoa nestled in his hand, protected safely away from the first edition version of Catcher In The Rye, torn, pages folded, and notes written neatly on the sides, bought first hand by Edward when the book came out. That was when the letter came.

Gary-The-Town-Mail-Man-Slash-Grocery-Store-Owner dropped off the letter on his usual cycle around town. The old scooter donated from the mail man before him smoked in the cool air, polluting Jacob's senses. Gary seemed oblivious to the smell and how ridiculous he looked and asked gaily how Jacob was. A friendly conversation and Jacob's polite offer of coffee (and the tentative rejection from Gary), ended their brief conversation and left Jacob with a faded blue envelope.

The envelope was slightly too fancy to be sent by Emmett and Rosalie, and not fancy enough to be sent from Alice and Jasper, his own dad having passed away years before took him out of the picture. It was obvious who it could only be. The printed and neat way their names were written, made it seem like the author took extremely cautious care when writing it. The letter was from Bella, and it was sent on Jacob's birthday.

_Dear Jacob,_

It said,

_I know that it's not really your birthday, seeming as you never grow old because Edward never grows old. However you were my friend before you were a werewolf, you were a werewolf before you feel in love with my fiancé and you were in love with my fiancé before he fell in love with you, so I thought all in all maybe it's time I start remembering who you were, and how even though all of these things have happened you will always be Jacob Black. So I got you the best birthday present I could think of, because it's wise to say I am not getting any younger, I think it's time I finally give you what you've been blindly searching for all along:_

_I am beginning to forgive you. _

_Isabella Swan _

_xx_

It was times like these he wished Edward was here.

(He hid the letter underneath the spare bedroom pillow where Edward never looked)

-

Each November the local high school slash primary school hold a school play. This, in all its superficial tendencies was the most awaited day of the year, the townspeople talked about what they were going to wear and what the students might perform months before the students themselves even start rehearsing. This day was taken very seriously by all the townspeople and absolutely no one missed the show; it was heresy to even say so. This year Edward offered to help out with the play, like everything Edward strives for in life, it falls like putty in his hand and suddenly he is director of the whole entire play. Jacob of course, isn't very happy.

'Why?' Jacob complained, the day Edward came home joyous and exuberant over the fact that he Edward Cullen was going to direct a play. Edward had smiled and twirled himself easily around his boyfriend dropping on the couch and leaning his whole weight on top of Jake. 'Because I was voted to do it' Edward explained airily, waving away the question like it was next to nothing.

'You do know that half the people who can vote are all twelve and hormonal and totally hot for their spunky never looks older than seventeen English teacher Mr. Cullen?' And Edward kissed Jacob to shut him up, and Jacob didn't mind, then. Except now he did, especially because it was taking up all of Edward's time.

-

Auditions involved two Thursday nights, a lot of screaming hopeful kids, and the town mayor smoking purposely on a toy bubble pipe. Edward dressed immaculately on the first Thursday, black slacks and a white button down t-shirt, he left the house dragging a tired Jacob behind him, into their second hand beat up pickup truck. By the time they both arrived half the town was loitering near the front door. Excitement evident on all their faces, 'let's face the music' Edward said, and that was that.

-

Edward taught year seven to nine English at the local high school. No one finds it exceptionally weird when he never looks like he grows older because most of the townsfolk sum it up to Edward being born in America, and how all American's had "good" looks. He taught over-all forty students, and because of the low amount of test and papers to be marked he was home by four so he could watch his daily secret serving of 'Young and the Restless: New Generation". Jacob owned a bakery in the centre of town that generally got good business. Shifts were split between the fifteen and sixteen year olds at Edward's high school and Larry the town temp worker. Larry was more useful than most of the kids but when Edward made a promise to his students he kept it.

-

'...now Shylock is one of the most controversial characters Shakespeare ever wrote, does anybody know why this is?' Edward asked leaning lazily against his desk and facing the room of eleven offhandedly, the class blinked at him overwhelmed. 'In what era was Merchant of Venice set in, Jamie' Edward asked staring at the boy who was drawing intently in his vapid art book.

'The sixteenth century, sir' Jamie replied not looking up from his book. Edward nodded his head and sucked on his bottom lip thoughtfully. 'As we all know Shylock was a Jew, in the sixteenth century what does Shakespeare allude to in the introduction of the play? Why is Shylock the way he is, because for a Jew Shylock is a very strong willed character. Does anyone know why this is?' Edward questions, as the door to the classroom creaked open and silently Jacob steps through, sneaking past Edward and sitting silently in his wooden chair, Edward stares at the class awaiting an answer.

'Anyone?' Edward asks again, zoning in on the girl sitting in the front row, trying to hide herself behind her version of the play. 'Amanda?' Edward says, awakening the girl from her daydream, she balked at him silently a blush seeping through her pale skin. 'No, sir' she squeaked eyes returning to her book to avoid attention from the teacher and the class.

'Did anyone read the play like I suggested?' Edward said tiredly, hands slipping into his back pocket to imply a casual demeanour, even though he was truly hurt. 'Watch the movie?' the class shook their heads again and Edward groaned. 'Did anyone do the homework last night?' only one girl nodded her head; the rest of the class avoided their teacher's eyes and instead looked outside at the green country side.

'Jews were segregated from Venice in the sixteenth century, at night they were locked up, not able to party with the Christian Venice Citizens. Shylock a Merchant like most of Jewish people back then was so defiant against the discrimination against him and his people caused a stir of anger and confusion amongst the Christians, and in the end left both him and his enemy unhappy and alone.' Jacob said from behind Edward picking at the dirt from behind his nails. 'See was that so hard?' Edward asked, surprising most of the class when he didn't jump in surprise from the intruder.

'Say "Hello" to Jacob class' Edward instructed moving to the whiteboard and picking up the red whiteboard marker. The only one of five which still worked. The class chorused a lame "Hello" and waited impatiently for their teachers instructions. Edward printed slowly the questions on the board, ignoring the bustled talking of the class and the hot gaze of Jacob upon his back. _Why does Shylock not take the thrice the money he was offered by Antonio? _Edward finished, placing the marker on the hilt and turning to the class.

'I expect at least a six line answer for _each_ question AND the best answer will get no homework for a week. And if they all suck i'll double the homework on Friday night' Edward promised sadistically, grinning impishly at his class and chuckling when they groaned unhappily. 'You are dismissed, remember SIX LINES FOR EACH! Joseph, James that includes you two too okay' the class rushed out of the room leaving Edward and Jacob alone.

'And here I thought you couldn't teach' Jacob said as Edward approached his desk. Edward grinned happily and didn't complain when Jacob pulled Edward down and onto his lap. Edward settled comfortably against his boyfriend's chest and drew imperfect pictures against Jacob's t-shirt. 'Whatever' Edward muttered, straining forward against Jacob's strong arms to get his scripts, 'I have to get to the town community centre soon to watch over the rehearsals, you should see this Sara-May she definitely is one of the best small town actresses I have ever seen in my something hundred years of life' Edward admitted, palming through the scripts ignoring Jacob's lingering gaze.

'You've mentioned her once or twice' Jacob said quietly, leaning forward to pull Edward back against his chest, breathing warm against Edward's pale neck. Edward groaned softly, falling limp against Jacob's warm chest. 'Jake, I have to get to...' Edward pauses head tilting unconsciously, chiselled chin licked and bitten softly by Jacob who was as usual ignoring Edward's complaints.

'Come on' Jacob mumbled against Edward's skin 'I haven't been this close to you since you got that bloody directors job' Jacob said morosely, hand creeping under Edward's shirt painting unclear portraits against Edward's skin. Edward froze against Jacob; his head moving stiffly away from Jacob's searching lips. 'Jacob, no' Edward said, pushing at his boyfriend's hard body and escaping from his grip. 'What, Edward?' Jacob said, pissed. Edward didn't look up, picking up his briefcase and a few small things. Dodging each time Jacob tried to reach for him.

'I've got to go' Edward finished, barely looking at Jacob, before escaping from the room and leaving out the front entrance. Leaving Jacob alone, and confused.

-

Jacob didn't plan writing a letter back to Bella, but he did. And he will plan to send it, he will. It's just Bella was past, and Edward is present, and he really doesn't want to know what future is.

-

Alice calls every Wednesday night to talk to Jacob. Jacob stopped finding it weird ages ago that Edward and Alice had conversations in their heads. It especially helped when Jasper found it as confusing as he did. But Jasper didn't talk a lot, and Jasper didn't like Jacob a lot, and Jacob stopped being confused over that ages ago as well. Jasper didn't like a lot of people anyway. Jacob just was at the top of the list because he was a werewolf.

Alice and Jasper were living somewhere in Fiji, in a large villa near the coastline. Edward and Jacob visit them for Thanksgiving, and they visit Esme and Carlisle for Christmas, and Rosalie and Emmett for Boxing Day. They take a room at the back, and barely see each other the whole time they are there. Because Edward is helping Jasper build something in the backyard and Alice is dragging Jacob all around town to meet all of her "friends". And that is Jacob's least favourite day of the year.

'What did you do?' Alice demands as soon as Jacob picks up on the second ring. Jacob was expecting a bit more from the extremely territorial sister Alice Cullen, in some ways he was disappointed that Alice hadn't evaporated in the room and started to throw plates at his head. (He had always wanted to throw a plate at someone's head during a lovers spat. But rarely did he and Edward fight, and when they did Edward was halfway across the world sulking to Alice and Jasper. (Edward didn't eat dinner anyway so really they only owned "one" plate.)

'I seriously don't know Alice' Jacob said honestly, Alice sighed unhappily over the phone, and then groaned. 'Just to let you know Jacob, Edward is bitching to me and it's really annoying. So you figure out what you did wrong because I can't stand another hour of his attentive whining.' Alice complained. Jacob's hands tightened against the phone, and gingerly he placed the console on the table and hit speaker.

'Just a hint Alice?' Jacob begged, walking to the fridge and taking out the half filled bottle of milk. The tim tams were next, and he bit at the ends, dunking the tim tam in the glass he sucked the warm milk through the tim tam and groaned as the chocolate melted against his tongue.

'He is angry at himself and at you. Trust me; you'll be fine and dandy before the end of the day. And Jake I seriously never want to see what I just saw in my head an hour ago. I have never blushed so hard in my life. My God you too go at it like...' Alice trailed off. 'ALICE!' Jake screeched in shock, he could feel her embarrassed grin over the phone.

'Please don't break my brother in half okay' and Alice hung up.

And Jacob blushed.

-

The community hall was full when Edward stormed through the doors. Sara-May and her friends were at the corner of the small stage, talking loudly and gesturing to the rest of the cast and how poorly they were compared to Sara-May herself. Edward rolled his eyes mechanically and took his seat at the front of the hall. Like clock-work Penelope the fifteen year old producer with a witty tongue and a hard mind took the seat next to him.

'Edward if Sara-May wasn't as good as she really is I would kick her soundly in the balls and throw her out of my theatre' Penelope said loudly, not bothered at all when Sara-May sent her a withering glare. Edward chuckled under his breath and somewhat winced in sympathy for the pain Sara-May wouldn't feel if she did get kicked there.

'She is a mighty dandy bitch I say' Penelope said, turning her head to the side and glaring at three boys mucking around on stage. 'If you three don't settle down and wise up you will never act again in my theatre!' she yelled, grinning when the boys stopped and looked down quickly at their scripts as if it was the most absorbing thing ever. Edward had read it. It wasn't.

'Penelope, do you have any goodness in your heart?' Edward asked, generally interested. Penelope shrugged her shoulders. 'In this business you need a cold heart to make it' and if anything Penelope was being honest except for the fact that the most people Edward could fit into this theatre was one hundred people, one hundred and one if he was pushing health regulations. 'You do know the most people I could fit in this theatre is one hundred people; I don't think you need that much of a cold heart to make it in this little old town.' Penelope honestly didn't care.

'I don't care, now are we going to rehearse or chat all day there is no way in Beelzebub that I am going to put my name on a play as crap as this'

Edward silently agreed.

-

Town Play, The Best Yet!

By Cynthia Cornell

_A New Year always brings a new play, but this year Edward Cullen teacher at the local high school was placed as Director, and for such a young man, talent is the only thing seeping out of his body. The play which is about a boy falling in love with his girlfriend's best friend has already sold tickets. So forget about the redneck cliché for small towns, because this best friend is another boy. Penelope the town producer is extremely happy with the choice in director. She is often heard to say to her friends: "Edward is the s" among other things teenagers find acceptable to say during school conversations. _

_Penelope, one of the brightest students our town has to offer, lacks talent for acting, but that doesn't stop her from doing things she loves. This year being her third year as producer of one of the biggest events ever held in this town. Edward Cullen has remained a mystery to the Citizens. He lives in the biggest house to vacate the town, with his partner Jacob Black. Jacob Black the heartthrob who owns that bakery in town, the one that sells the delightful muffins sprinkled with the home-made chocolate sprinkles. They aren't afraid to show their love for one another, and maybe that's why this play is such an accepted play amongst the townsfolk. Trust me when I saw what this play was about, it stopped me in my tracks, however watching one of the rehearsals as a VIP, I must admit this is going to be one of the best plays the town has to offer. And if you haven't bought a ticket to see this play, I would before the one hundred seats have been vacated. They are already three forths fill, so buy tickets because missing this play will make you the fool of the town. _

-

Dear Bella,

I guess you want to know what we have been up to, Edward right now is directing the local town play, and it has been taking up all his time. I have barely seen him in the past months and I guess like most things it's putting a strain on our relationship, but I know we can make it through this rough patch because in the end the play is making Edward happy, and when Edward is happy I am happy. I attached an article from our newspaper. It just talks a little about the play, so I thought you might like to read up about Edward.

I run a bakery in town, it profits pretty well, and there is only one other bakery in town and that is marketed by a big product company, so hardly no one shops there. It is sort of like Wal-Mart but people hate them a lot more. Most of the people work for such a minimum price that I pay them extra. Edward and I have enough money that we can afford to pay the girls and boys who work there 14 dollars an hour. This seriously is like double the price teenagers get for their first job. Edward, is a school teacher, no one is really surprised about that. Esme and Carlisle are so proud of him. The first day of his job everyone flew to Australia to throw him a quasi party. Esme bought him this briefcase, and he really doesn't need it, but he uses it anyway because he loves it. And he has started to wear all these old looking professor clothes, which he has kept from when he was younger, and seriously it suits him so good that it's a surprise no one does suspect he was born in the 1800s.

I hope you are well and happy. And I'm not sorry, because that means I would have to be sorry that I have Edward, but I do wish that things were different, and I am glad that you are starting to forgive me, because in a way both Edward and I are missing you.

Sincerely,

JB

-

Jacob was cooking dinner when Edward got home. It was six fifteen, and Jacob was cooking because he really didn't feel like getting take out. Cooking for one was harder than Jacob expected. Edward who wasn't dating a human didn't feel the need to eat dinner, because he didn't need too, and the taste wasn't as fruitful as it was one hundred years ago. Jacob stirred the sauce thoughtfully, one eye on the door waiting for Edward to get home, the other on the sauce which was threatening to bubble over and onto the freshly clean bench top.

'I'm home' Edward called uselessly when he got in the kitchen. Jacob nodded his head and didn't turn to look at his boyfriend, Jacob knew his boyfriend and when he was pissed, he was pissed, no matter what good comings Alice tried to persuade him with. Edward approached him carefully, arms wrapped tenderly around Jacob's waist, fingers tapping anxiously against Jacob's belt.

'Sorry I'm late the play kept me back, I'll be glad when this is over' Edward admitted, peering to the side at the pot and wrinkling his nose in distaste. Jacob knew he couldn't cook; he didn't need Edward to remind him. 'Don't lie, you know you will miss being able to boss people around and spend quality time with Penelope' Jacob muttered, lifting the sauce to his mouth to taste it. He scrunched his nose in distaste; he really didn't know how to cook.

'No, I can definitely do without Sara-May' Edward explained, 'She definitely knows how to make me want to rip my hair out of my head. Jacob, about before, I'm...' Edward started to explain himself and Jacob turned around to stop him. 'We definitely wouldn't want that to happen, you're beautiful the way you are' Jacob said, covering Edward's awkward apology, and Edward smiled dazzled. Jacob ran his fingers through Edward's hair playfully before pulling away and turning back to his sauce.

'Now get out of my face, I need to cook, take a shower because you smell like cigarettes and Penelope's perfume, I don't know where she buys that perfume from but she might want to stop, it smells like shit' Jacob pondered, stirring the sauce and looking out the window and at their farm. Edward laughed and kissed Jacob on the back of the neck. His skin tingled, and it lingered even after Edward left the room with a soft 'Thanks, Jake'.

-

Edward walks slowly onto the balcony, Jacob curls himself further into the blanket and pulls up the side closest to Edward accepting him into the snuggle. Edward grins sleepily, and collapses against Jacob's chest, his hands reaching out for Jacob's cup of warm coffee. Taking a sip he smiles at the awful taste and rests his head in between Jacob's head and neck. Jacob turns a page in the local newspaper and hums appreciatively at the good news and sighs sadly at the bad news.

'Morning' Edward finally says when he is fully awake. Jacob looks down at Edward and smiles, lifting his lovers chin and kissing him softly on the mouth. 'Morning, love' Jacob says against Edward's cool lips. Edward smiles shortly, and lets Jacob lick and bite his way into his mouth, a relaxed sigh escaping from his mouth when Jacob pushes his tongue in harder, tongue lavishing Edward's tongue, a caressing dance, like kisses in movies – but more real.

'Love you' Edward says when Jacob pulls away to take a sip of his cooling coffee. Jacob smiles around the rim of the cup and winks. 'You too' Edward grinned mischievously and struggles to grab at Jacob's neck to pull him down for a kiss. Instead, Jacob leans down himself and quietens Edward's struggle with a kiss. And they don't make out a lot, at least not on the front porch they do, so Jacob enjoyed the kiss. Because soon Edward would get back to his play, and himself back to his bakery, and things will remain the same. They made-out on their veranda, while the sun rose against the painted picture background.

And it was quiet.

-

Two weeks later Jacob posts the letter.

-

**August, Australia**

Esme and Carlisle visit every year in August for a month. The town now them as Edward's cousin, even though on some occasions Edward has slipped and called Esme mum. Most of them sum it up to some inter relation cousin joke, the other half (most of his students) sum it up to it being another strange thing about their strange teacher; the left over part of the town just don't care.

-

'Knock, knock' Carlisle said as he walked into Edward and Jacob's bedroom, they were curled around each other – fully clothed because Carlisle was known to not having any decency on personal boundaries with his family –, Jacob was snoring softly, and Edward was watching him, eyes open because like normal Edward doesn't sleep. Esme followed behind her husband cautiously.

'Carlisle!' Edward said warningly as Jacob jolted awake at the feeling of an intruder in their bedroom. Carlisle grinned wickedly and sat down on the corner of the bed, gone was his old fashioned moral personality, instead in place was the child he seemed to be whenever he was around Jacob – and Edward.

'Dad?' Jacob questioned sleepily, scratching unceremoniously at his balls. Carlisle barked out a laugh and pulled Esme down onto his lap when she blushed crimson at the sight. Edward grinned at his boyfriend and pulled him closer, watching his face as Jacob blinked himself awake. 'Morning Jacob' Carlisle answered, grinning at his son in law, impishly when Esme hit him in the chest for being a bitch.

'Morning mum' Edward said, leaning forward to kiss his mum on the cheek, Jacob did as followed except with a hug to add on top. It was possible Esme loved Jacob more than she loved her very own – in her own way – son. 'Breakfast?' Carlisle asked after the warming hello, Jacob laughs encouragingly in Carlisle's direction and Edward rolls his eyes amused.

'After _we_ have a shower, together, now shoo' Edward said gesturing for them to leave the room with his hands. Jacob shrugged his shoulders at his boyfriend's parents and waited for them to leave the room before kissing Edward softly on the lips. 'Morning, love'

-

Carlisle had invited Gary in for a cup of tea when Edward and Jacob exited their bedroom. Esme was near the kettle, listening to her husband and the mail man talk, while waiting for the kettle to boil. Edward took a seat next to his father, a polite nod in Gary's direction started a whole new discussion on Edward's up and coming play, the conversation grew louder as each minute passed. Jacob turned and walked into the kitchen area, pulling the fridge open and smiling warmly at Esme. 'Morning, mum' he said, kissing her on the top of the head and pulling a cup down from above her head. Fixing himself a cup he smiled at her and gestured for her to put water in his cup. Stirring at the black water he watched her fix herself, Gary and Carlisle a cup.

'How're you holding up Jake?' Esme asked, reaching for the milk he had placed on the table. Jacob shrugs his shoulders carelessly, adding milk to his cup of coffee also. 'Fine' Jacob replied, dropping the spoon in the sink and taking a sip of the hot coffee, almost burning his tongue by accident. 'How're you _really_ doing?' Esme said spinning around to glare at her son in law, three cups held awkwardly in her small hand.

'It's been hard' Jacob admitted 'Edward's been working so hard on the play, but it's making him happy so I'm happy, anyway it's only a couple more months and then it's over and I get him back' Jacob said honestly, pressing the cup of coffee closer to his chest. Esme nodded her head sadly, and patted him on the shoulder. 'But what if the next year they ask him to do it again, could you do this every year until it started to get suspicious and you have to move?' Esme asked, Jacob looked stricken, and Esme patted him on the shoulder again. 'Talk to him, he will do anything for the one he truly loves. He has too many more years of life to live without you' and she walked away.

Jacob walked out of the room, to the confusion of Edward and the worry of Esme. 'So you've got a letter from the states, weird because we never get letters from the states, and it's exactly the same writing. Old Gary is interested' Gary said handing the envelope to an amused Edward. 'Whose it from?' Edward asked as he accepted the letter, fingering the fancy blue envelope.

'One Miss Swan, weird name if I do say so me'self, but fair dinkum i have heard a lot of weird last names in my life and that's one of the weirdest...' Gary continued to ramble, disregarding the frozen silent conversation between the three Cullen's.

-

Edward was panicky throughout the whole day, Esme and Carlisle had decided to go and help out in the bakery that day, and left Edward early in the morning to start getting the bakery ready. Edward left a few minutes after them to drive the short few miles to the local high school, leaving the letter behind at home, to read later. When he was ready. The class, wise for their age, picked up on his mood, and answered his question as delicately as possible. They themselves turning panicky, wondering when their teacher was going to crack. By the end of the day, both the class and Edward were ready to leave, and as Edward locked the door to the classroom, he was oddly grateful that none of the students offered to walk him to his car. That was the last thing he could deal with right now. He even avoided Penelope as he crossed the school, Penelope being his favourite student in the whole entire world.

The drive home was silent, the radio turned on to full blast, but barely registering in his head. Parking the car in the driveway he sighed in relief when he found that no one not even Jacob was home, and he made his way into the house, undressing slowly on the way to get into more comfortable clothes. Kicking the dirty clothes into the laundry room, he walked gingerly into the kitchen and glared at the envelope on the kitchen counter. It was known, the letter could either make him or break him. More chance that it could break him, not that he would admit it out loud though.

'Why now?' he questioned aloud, sitting down in front of the envelope and fingering the blue paper. Ripping open the envelope, a small paper slipped out with a number. Bella's number.

-

'Honey, I'm home' Jacob said comically holding the door open for a still energetic Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle had resurrected his old friendship with Larry the temp worker who pretty much isn't a temp worker anymore. Jacob spent all day watching Esme yell at Carlisle and Larry for doing stupid things like making new bakery recipes and putting a shoe in the blender and daring someone in the streets to drink it. Carlisle at times can be the biggest child ever. The three of them walked into the kitchen, Carlisle wiping the flour off of his t-shirt, ignoring Esme's dirty looks.

'You should have seen the bakery today, I have never been so scared in my life' Jacob admitted, slipping out of his shoes and kicking them against the wall. Carlisle copied, Esme doing the same only a bit more gingerly. 'Penelope stopped by today at the store, she said you didn't turn up at rehearsals and she doesn't care that you are the director, and I quote from her witty mouth "Penelope is going to slap some bitches – which by the way is you – if you don't turn up tomorrow" unquote' Jacob finished, entering the kitchen and freezing in surprise when he saw Edward eat ice-cream, the biggest comfort food in the word – while staring morosely at the phone on the wall.

'Ed?' Jacob ask worriedly, and staggered forward when Carlisle bumped into him as he wasn't looking where he was going and bumped unceremoniously into the younger boys back. Esme glided around the tangled pair, and took a look at her upset son. 'Oh dear, Alice was right' Esme said more to herself then to anyone else.

'Alice was right?' Jacob asked, pushing at Carlisle, who was looking outside and at the stray horses chasing each other in the field next to theirs. Carlisle walked forward and to the back door, gesturing to the horses and stepping outside before any of them could ask. Jacob watched his back disappear before turning back to his boyfriend. 'Nothing' Esme answered shrilly, pulling Edward into her cold arms, stroking his hair comfortingly.

'We got a letter from Bella' Esme said honestly, pointing to the blue envelope on the kitchen counter. Jacob froze uncertainly, watching Esme watch him with unjudging and understanding eyes. 'Alice said that Bella was going to send a letter with her number on it, and that Edward was going to get it, she said she didn't know when, but she did say that a big fight would erupt between the two of you, and Edward would leave, for good' Esme dropped her eyes to her unspoken son, who was still spooning ice-cream into his mouth, as if he _was _hungry. 'Alice called us and said that we should go and see you in April, we were going to go and take a trip around Australia and see you in November for the play, that being the last stop on our trip, but Alice said that we had to come because Edward was going to leave. Edward, the boy who will live forever, and you the same, so we came and we didn't know it was going to happen this soon, but at least we arrived in time, who knows what you'd be like now' Esme admitted, pulling the spoon out of Edwards hand and throwing the ice-cream into the bin near the stools.

'Edward, honey, you're not hungry' Esme said softly, pulling Edward out of his psychotic silence. Jacob had only seen Edward get into this mood once before, and that was before they were even fully a couple, sneaking around behind Bella's back and meeting up in expensive hotels to fuck. He had threatened to leave Edward, if he didn't get serious, it wasn't really a threat, it was more of a plea. Jacob was just tired of being the mistress. Just tired. That's all. In the end Edward got so depressed Jacob ended up coming back, because in the end Edward being sad wasn't going to work for him either. The best decision he ever made in his life. Now seeing Edward back in his silence scared Jacob, because this time Edward could be leaving him instead of running away with him.

'I'm not?' Edward said, still in shock. Esme nodded her head and dragged Edward off of the seat and out of the kitchen. Jacob went to follow but a hand to his shoulder stopped him; instead he followed Carlisle out of the house and into the backyard. 'Dad?' Jacob asked, after a few minutes of stony silence.

'It's not your fault, son' Carlisle said, mood changing drastically, from happy to sad. 'I don't know why Edward is like this, we all loved Bella, but I think in a way he loved you more, but he still loved Bella and he would have been happy with her. Do you ever wonder why he never changed her himself. Because he knew in his heart that there was someone else, Jacob they never...slept together... you've got to understand that you're the only one for Edward, so don't let go. Even if he thinks he wants Bella back, because he probably does think that, but he doesn't actually believe that, he will break up with you. I'm warning you, like Alice warned me. Just don't let him go. Throw stuff and lock him in your room, don't let him go because he will...and his heart will break and so will yours, because Bella is married now. And I am not making much sense, and I wish I was...he loves her but he doesn't. And he wants her because he thinks he wants her, thinks he has broken her and needs to fix her. Thinks she still loves him, but she doesn't. Not as much as before. And...just don't let him leave...son' Carlisle finished with an exhausted sigh.

'Sometimes I wish that Bella never existed, no matter how much I love her, she causes more trouble than good' and silently Jacob had to agree. 'Fuck' Jacob sounded, looking back at the house, almost afraid to go in. If Edward was going to break up with him, Jacob was sure he was never going to want to walk into that house. Jacob didn't want to walk back into that house. 'Fuck's right, Jacob, fuck them all to hell' and Jacob was even more confused.

-

Jacob was staring at the darkened sky, swinging softly on the chair, eyes fixated on the apple tree near the corner of their house. One hundred acres and it feels so much smaller. Like the truth had crept up and into his body, suffocating him from the inside out. The door to the house opened and Edward stepped out and onto the cold wooden floor. Jacob's eyes flickered from the tree to his boyfriend and he sighed loudly. Painfully. 'Just say it' Jacob said sadly, watching as Edward sat gingerly down on the seat and looked at the apple tree also.

'I have to see her Jacob, i'm just...why now, and why did you keep it from me. I wanted to leave her alone so she could get better, but what if she doesn't get better what if she is as bad as I think she is, and what if I can't leave. I can't leave her broken like that, I couldn't leave her last time and I won't leave her this time either' Edward rambled, eyes never flickering from the reddest apple on the tree.

'You're breaking up with me aren't you' Jacob asked his voice wavering, till the last note broke. Edward shrugged his shoulders, tears brimmed at the sides. 'Not really, more like a break maybe, until I know that she is alright' Edward tried, a frown on his face, as a tear slipped down his porcelain face. And Jacob was angry, he was livid.

'No' Jacob said, ignoring Edward's sharp intake of breath, 'No?' Edward questioned, surprise replacing the tears. 'Yes "no"' Jacob repeated, turning to face his partner, eyes alive and dancing in the moonlight. Different emotions flickered through Edward's eyes to be replaced with anger itself. Jacob moved closer to his partner on the swing. 'And what makes you think that you can tell me what to do?' Edward growled, watching Jacob with fire in his eyes. Jacob sneered sadly and cupped Edward on the back of his neck, pulling him forward till they were nose to nose. 'This' Jacob growled, pulling Edward closer till their lips were pressed together.

Softly Jacob kissed Edward. Jacob started slow, licking and biting his way across Edward's supple cold lips, kissing and biting them until they were red raw, and swollen. Edward moaned softly into Jacob's mouth and opened his mouth willingly against Jacob's, and Jacob thrusted his tongue in, the kiss increasing, getting rougher, and Jacob bit more, and licked more and kissed him harder until Edward was withering anxiously on the seat next to him. 'Does she kiss you like this?' Jacob asked into Edward's mouth, sucking hard on Edward's tongue. Edward groaned and pressed closer to his partner. 'Does she?' Jacob asked again, harder, biting on the edge of Edward's raw lip.

'God, no' Edward answered, falling limp against Jacob's side, not struggling when Jacob picks him up with one hand and settles him on his lap. Edward straddled Jacob's sides and leaned forward to initiate another kiss. Jacob watched Edward close his eyes, rock his hips down against Jacob's, erection pressed tight against the jeans of his pants. Jacob grinned against Edward's mouth and moved his hands from Edward's waist to the button of Edward's jeans. Edward moans, and pushes his hip towards Jacob's hands. Jacob chuckles against Edward's lips and circles the button before popping it open. The drag of the zipper was loud against the silence on the veranda, Edward sighed happily against his mouth and thrusts down against Jacob's hand.

'Does she touch you like this?' Jacob asked, slipping his hands inside Edward's boxers, curling his fist around Edward's erection and rubbing his thumb gently over the leaking head. Edward shakes his head back and forth impatiently, hips working frustrated in a fashion to just get off. Jacob uncurls his fist from Edward's cock and picks Edward up, Edward's feet lock around Jacob's waist and he leans up for a short kiss. Jacob smiles and carries them through the house and to their spare bedroom. Tossing the bedroom open and locking the door Jacob pushes Edward on the bed and crawls up his boyfriend's body.

Kisses on patches of skin, Jacob walks his fingers down Edward's body and to the hard cock, gripping the erection in his hand Jacob starts to pull and rub and kiss at Edward's lips. Wiggling out of his work clothes, Jacob lays on top of his boyfriend and just thrusts their bodies together, over and over again until Edward is moaning, and panting and whispering dirty things into his ear, like he always does when he is about to come. Jacob groans loudly, his back sweating from the work-out, Edward's hand reach up his back and scratch down his back, fingers travelling all the way down the stance of his back, till the curve of his ass. Fingers circled at his hole and Jacob smothered a groan against Edward's skin, watching Edward's face through half-lidded eyes, as Edward pushes the tip of his finger in experimentally. Jacob sighs happily and thrust their erections together again.

Edward's eyes close fully and he forgets about the finger, and lays limp as Jacob thrusts against him softly. A push back against the finger from Jacob starts Edward up again, his finger pulling out before pushing back in further, another slipping in with the other causing the familiar pain of skin and muscle stretching. And then there was both, both fingers and friction and kissing and moaning, and panting and _words_ and Jacob pulls away completely, fingers falling out, and erections so painful and...Edward groans.

'Does she love you like this?' Jacob asks softly, leaning down to kiss at Edward's heart, repeating the process till Edward's breathing starts to pick up again, and Jacob looks up from underneath his dark eye lashes, 'Does she love you so much that the thought of you even wanting to take a break from her is enough for her to want jump off the highest mountain to her death? Does she' Jacob whispered, a choke escaping from his mouth, and it took Jacob a while to realise that Edward was crying, and he was possibly too, and he has never been this upset in his life, and he just wants to fix it, but he doesn't know how and then...

'No' Edward whimpered softly when Jacob leant down and kissed at the place where his heart is again, for the hundredth time, and Jacob's heart burst and he felt like he was truly crying. And with that he leant down and swallowed Edward, hollowing his cheeks and slipping down till his nose was in Edward's pubic hair, and Edward cried out and came. Fast and hot down Jacob's throat.

'I love you too' Edward mumbled against the pillow, eyes lucid but still awake, always awake, and Jacob nodded his head and crawled back up to lie down beside Edward. Edward opened his arms and Jacob fitted himself against Edward's body. 'I'm sorry' Edward murmured, lifting a finger on Jacob's chin so they were face to face. 'I'm so sorry...I can't believe, she just makes me feel crazy sometimes, but I do love you, I do...oh my god I do, I can't believe I even thought of leaving...' Edward cried, pulling Jacob closer and kissing at his raw lips. 'I just need to know if she is OK' Edward said, pulling away from his boyfriend and looking him in the eye.

'But I am not leaving you, I'm not' and by then Jacob was fast asleep.

-

Jacob showed Edward the letter Bella first sent two months ago the next day, by then Esme and Carlisle were gone, bags packed and a note saying 'good luck, goodbye, and we'll see you on Christmas'. Edward read the note what felt like a hundred times before he picked up the phone and called Bella. They both called her and put her on speed dial. And things returned to normal. Except with Bella back in their life, seemingly good, and happy to talk to them.

-

**EPILOGUE**

**November, Australia **

Penelope paced the community hall, her dress swished impatiently against her knees as she waited for Edward to arrive. Sara-May was getting into her first outfit for the play; she was also of course busy bullying people around and forcing the make-up girl to do her make-up just a little darker to make her actually hot. Penelope was ready to blow the place up. When Edward rushed into the room she slapped the clipboard at his chest and glared at the impish Jacob Black.

'It's your entire fault that Edward is late, you and your wicked homosexual ways' Penelope said good naturedly, kissing Jacob on the cheek and running off to yell at Sara-May for being a bitch. Edward watched amused and turned back to his partner. 'I can't believe this night is finally here' Edward said, his eyes alight with happiness, and Jacob grinned back at his boyfriend, wrapping him in a hug and pulling him closer. 'I'm so proud of you Edward' Jacob said against Edward's neck, pressing his lips gently against the cold skin, and Edward melted. 'I know' Edward supplied and pulled away, 'Good' Jacob said with a grin and watched confused as Edward's eyes widened.

'Am I seeing things?' Edward breathed, stepping forward into Jacob's space and pressing on his tip toes to look over his shoulder, and Jacob turned his head, and looked in shock.

'Hey Edward, Jacob, this is my son CJ'

Finite


	2. Snippet of Sequel

Dear Readers,

I have started on a sequel to Unloving, I Will Love You.

I want your thoughts. There is a poll in my profile that I'd like people to fill out.

I also want to know if anyone is willing to do a BETA for me!

Ok. Thanks for all the reviews too!

Who wants a snippet?

Of course we do.

* * *

Pending Title

No More Room To Breathe

Jacob/Edward and Bella/Mike

The room was silent.

Bella dragged her eyes away from the wall above Edward's head and nervously sought out her surroundings. The living room mimicked a perfect caricature of a young man's college dorm room. The flat screen TV was hooked up to what looked like all three play stations stacked up on top of each other, and a Nintendo Wii. Magazine's were piled neatly on top of the mug ring stained coffee table, and DVDs were placed what looked like alphabetically underneath them.

The video player was set on record, so Bella presumed they were recording something on TV. A movie most probably as the time recorded had just hit past an hour and a half. And. Bella was jealous. She had not expected them to be so, well, domestic. The hallway had pictures of them together, at the park, at the beach, at a girl's piano recital, with the family at Christmas. The house had memories. Memories she had stubbornly not been a part of.

Being married suited her. She was the type to settle down; she wanted that ring around her finger. She wanted to prove to her parents that marriage can work. Even though in the end Renee was happy with Phil and Charlie was happy with Emily. Mike treated her like a princess. He always had. She had overlooked him at school; Edward had charmed her with his flawless vampire given beauty. The way nothing seemed to faze him, how being the most talked about guy at school was almost mediocre to test results on their bloody science tests.

She loved him. She probably still did.

Jacob too. Wallowing in self pity always got her down.

'So...CJ is it short for something?' Edward asked, coming up behind her, startling her from her thoughts, cynical as they may be she turned around and smiled at him. CJ was her everything.

'Charles Junior, we had a scare with my father a few years back right before CJ was born, and we thought he wouldn't make it, and that was going to be his name the minute Mike and I knew that CJ was a boy, and even when my dad made it past CJ's birth we just couldn't do it. That was his name. We had no right to change it.' Bella explained softly, hands ringing in the sleeves of her shirt. She was nervous, oh god almighty she was nervous.

'Carlisle told me about Charlie' Edward offered as a peace offering moments later, 'He didn't exactly know what was wrong, because he and Charlie had never been close, but, he knew enough was wrong to tell me. I was going to write to you, but whenever I sat down to do it, nothing I wrote ever seemed good enough to say what I wanted to say to you. Anyway...' Edward stopped for a breath. Scratching the back of his head anxiously he finished, 'At least he is all better now'.

'Yes, no one is more grateful than me'

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what do you think also?


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